My Dad, the Undertaker
Happy Father's Day!
Hello and Welcome to JQ’s Substack Focused on Story!
This Sunday, June 21, is Father’s Day in the USA.
In December 1975, my husband, our one-year-old daughter, and I moved from family and friends in Illinois to West Michigan to become owners of a flower shop and greenhouse business
In March of 1976, my dad passed away. His passing turned my world sideways. Not only life-changing but also life-challenging. Dads and daughters have a special bond, and we certainly did.
I experienced so many emotions when trying to accept the reality of never seeing him again. I am ashamed to admit that one of my strongest feelings was anger. Selflessly, I was so mad at him because he would never come to visit us in our new home. We would never hear him exclaim about how fantastic our flower shop and greenhouses were or receive any advice from his many years of experience in business. I would never hear the awe in his voice after reading one of my poems. Because of his reactions and encouragement, I kept writing. But the worst blow of all, his death robbed my daughter of having a grandpa.
I didn’t think I could move on from that horrible grief and despair that comes with losing a loved one. Even after 50 years of his passing, I miss him. There is no anger anymore, but plenty of gratitude for being his daughter.
Excerpt from Arranging a Dream: A Memoir by J.Q. Rose
Chapter 16, My Dad
My dad was a funeral director. No, I didn’t grow up in the funeral home. We always lived in a house not even close to the chapel. His personality, his love for people, and his focus on details contributed to his success in caring for grieving families.
He taught me how to operate a stick shift, also known as a manual transmission, by letting me drive the hearse. It’s called a funeral coach nowadays. He cautioned me not to take the corners too fast because the coach was top-heavy. You can believe I proceeded with caution!
The best way to keep my dad’s memory alive and honor him is to remember all he instilled in me while I was growing up and to practice those lessons. He always pointed out the beautiful things surrounding us in nature like a wide-open prairie sunset, the glitter of the sun on a spider web, and the way the leaves on the trees flipped over before a storm. He never gossiped about anyone or badmouthed a person. He never swore, well, except the time when my brother’s class ring was not correct, and the shopkeeper would not do anything to make it right.
A sense of mischief popped out in his odd sense of humor. He’d go for coffee at Turner’s, the local greasy spoon located on Route 66, where they called him Digger. He carried a measuring tape in his pocket to measure up anyone who gave him a hard time, being sure he would order the right-sized casket for the jokester.
Because Dad cared about people and appreciated the simple things in life, I aspired to be just like him as a business person, friend, and parent.
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I hope you have good memories of your dad or the person who made a difference in your life. Please share a good memory you have with your dad, or granddad, or a man who was important to you when growing up.
Connect online with JQ Rose:
Email: jqrose02 @ gmail dot com
Lovely tribute to your dad, Janet. He sounds like a great guy with a great sense of humour. I hope Ted was spoiled on Father's Day!
How wonderful to have such beautiful, personal memories JQ.